Review: Nerf N Force Vantage Short Sword
There is a myth that Orcs live only in the mountains, or forests, or some remote, normally inaccessible place. This is not true: they have long since invaded the suburban and urban landscape, and can attack without warning.
The N Force Vantage Short Sword, aside from having the least poetic name of any Orc-slaying sword ever created, is the perfect weapon for defending against these urban interlopers. From the easily grasped grip to the well-placed cross-guard to the perfectly-proportioned blade, it is an ideal weapon for repulsing the repulsive forces of darkness. Some might say that a foam sword isn’t a “real” weapon when it comes to Orc-slaying, but in countless instances of intense, close combat, I have yet to leave Orcs in command of the field. It is 100% effective when it comes to the art of Orc slicing and dicing.
Aside from the outrageously silly name, there are some cautions that should be noted. In most modern low-slung rooms, you need to learn some different sword techniques for Orc slicing, especially if you are close to six feet tall. You don’t want to slice through your ceiling. And while the sword is quite effective in combatting Orcs, it is unfortunately also a bit hard on ceiling fans and lights, free-standing lamps, and other top-heavy objects, and should never be used on a spouse unless you are prepared to handle instant wrath and retaliation.
Orc Slayer: N-force vantage short sword
I’m thinking about getting a second sword for work; I suspect several of my co-workers are Orcs…
Oh, yes: the N Force Vantage Short Sword is also a great way to make exercise more entertaining. Rather than aimlessly move your arms, shoulders and upper torso, you can deal with something more focused and critical to the success of humankind: Orc slaying.