“Take No Prisoners:” Suggested Apple Ads

© 1997 Lawrence I. Charters

Washington Apple Pi Journal, Vol. 19, no. 4, July-August 1997, pp. 20-21.

[Note: all images were scanned from PDF copies of the Journal, smudges, ink stains, and all. The original color illustrations have not yet shown up.]

Electric Knife, the Web persona of the Mac the Knife gossip column in Mac Week (http://www.zdnet.com/macweek/mactheknife/), recently had a series of small, “take no prisoners” advertisements offered as suggestions for Apple. The following are submitted as additional suggestions. As such, note that Apple Computer, Inc., has nothing to do with them, and is not responsible for these faux ads in any way. However, I wouldn’t mind seeing them plastered across the Wall Street Journal…

You can run MacOS. And Windows 95. And Windows 3.1. And UNIX. Only on a Mac.
You can run MacOS. And Windows 95. And Windows 3.1. And UNIX. Only on a Mac.
Macs can run the other guy's software. Or they can run something better. Get a Mac.
Macs can run the other guy’s software. Or they can run something better. Get a Mac.
MacOS 8. Due July 1997. Windows 97: Due sometime 1998.
MacOS 8. Due July 1997. Windows 97: Due sometime 1998.
Mac help books are thin. And there are more of them for those other machines, too.
Mac help books are thin. And there are more of them for those other machines, too.
Created on a 10 year old Mac. What can you do on a ten year old PC?
Created on a 10 year old Mac. What can you do on a ten year old PC?
Macs know about the Year 2000. Just think: your work can span centuries. Correctly.
Macs know about the Year 2000. Just think: your work can span centuries. Correctly.
1987 Macs work with 1997 software. Macs: built to last. And work. And play.
1987 Macs work with 1997 software. Macs: built to last. And work. And play.
Stroll the Internet. Publish a book. Without asking your kids for help. Get a Mac.
Stroll the Internet. Publish a book. Without asking your kids for help. Get a Mac.
Why settle for "Mac-like?" Experience the real thing. Leave imitation for comics.
Why settle for “Mac-like?” Experience the real thing. Leave imitation for comics.
Your friend got the other brand. But your Mac is actually working.
Your friend got the other brand. But your Mac is actually working.
Macintosh. The only personal computer worth $150.
Macintosh. The only personal computer worth $150.
World Chess Champion. PowerPC Technology. Inside Deep Blue. Inside Power Macintosh.
World Chess Champion. PowerPC Technology. Inside Deep Blue. Inside Power Macintosh.
As Seen on Mars. PowerPC Technology. Used by Sagan Station. Used by Macintosh.
As Seen on Mars. PowerPC Technology. Used by Sagan Station. Used by Macintosh.
Macintosh. Because Half of Intel[ligent] Isn't Good Enough.
Macintosh. Because Half of Intel[ligent] Isn’t Good Enough.
Macintosh. Yes, There Are More Cockroaches. But Does That Make Them Better?
Macintosh. Yes, There Are More Cockroaches. But Does That Make Them Better?
Macintosh. You'll Easily Adjust to Their Envy.
Macintosh. You’ll Easily Adjust to Their Envy.
Macintosh. It Doesn't Make You Register.
Macintosh. It Doesn’t Make You Register.
Macintosh. Designed to Make Your Life Richer. Not Some Billionaire's.
Macintosh. Designed to Make Your Life Richer. Not Some Billionaire’s.
Macintosh. Because 2001 Is More Interesting Than 95.
Macintosh. Because 2001 Is More Interesting Than 95.
Macintosh. Because You Deserve Better Than C:, D:, or F:
Macintosh. Because You Deserve Better Than C:, D:, or F:

For the original Mac the Knife entries, see http://www.zdnet.com/macweek/ mactheknife/art_photo/photos_970225.html